106 facts about you

A poll Carrie had posted...

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring?
No. I’ve thought about giving one at least once.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
About a year, I guess. I’m a bit of a loner.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Hmmm. It was probably at Christmas. I don’t remember what it was, but I think it was pretty nice.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
At least once a week.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Huh? You don’t know me, do you?

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
I think the better question would be “What DON’T I spend a lot of money on?”

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
I had Jumbo Popcorn Chicken and tater tots with a Vanilla Dr. Pepper at Sonic.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Face.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
It’s like picking a favorite child. Nearly impossible.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Here.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Franklin County.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Cingular

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Nordstrom.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
3 years, architect.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Nope. They’re the debbil.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
Nope. I haven’t done it since college

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Blair and Andrea

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Probably Kevin.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
This past weekend.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Church’s Chicken. I’m ghetto.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
"I’m a good person." I’d rather see it than hear about it.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Damn. Anywhere these days. I never see anybody.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
I ain’t bad.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
You really don’t know me, do you?

26. BEST KISSER:
She knows.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
It’s been a while.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Raw tomatoes, hard-boiled eggs, liver.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I think I’m actually pretty interesting in a very boring way.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I’m a Virgo. This could take a while.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
All nighters in college.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Right now, “The Devil Wears Prada”

34. CAN YOU SING?
In a way. I impersonate singers better than I actually sing.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Alex Bugnon.

36. LAST KISS?
It’s been a while.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
It’s really been a while. I usually buy movies.

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Glasses.

39. FAVORITE vacation spot
Anywhere but here.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Desktop.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
Adam Sandler.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
No.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
In pajamas. No wonder I can’t get laid.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
Nobody but me, but I’m willing to entertain other offers.

ok... so there is no 48

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Once or twice.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Pancakes. Always pancakes.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Espresso, yes. Coffee, not as much.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don’t.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
A little too much.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Kevin.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LISt?:
Lou or Trent.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
I don’t text.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
6. It’s frothy, but comfortable.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Pajamas.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
“one more chance”

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
Strawberry.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
I used ta’ could.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
No.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Do I? I love maps.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I love doing these surveys.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Once or twice, but it was in college.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Fall.

70. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED ABOUT SOMETHING STUPID?
All the time. I find a lot of things stupid.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
6:45 AM

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Snow.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Never.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Poochie. She was a collie.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
I don’t like pirates.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Probably work and ironing.

78. BIRTHDATE
8/30

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Tomorrow.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
No. Are you?

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Not really. I’m not a smiler.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW
Everyone.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
To bed.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
My social development is.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Not currently.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?:
No clue.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
Don’t wear them. I haven’t been anywhere I needed one in a while.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
My school is everyday.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
I went to a concession equipment show. Does that count?

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
No.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER:
No.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
Sure. Why not?

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
No time for love, Dr. Poll.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
When I was born.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Not really, but if anybody wants to pop in, that’s cool.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
None.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Sleep.

106. WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?
I learned that no matter how well you do your job, someone will screw it up for you.

joke week '07 | day 7

This coming week is National Mental Health Care Week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....Your turn!

joke week '07 | day 6

A husband wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

The husband sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

The husband asks, "Son . . . what happened last night??

"Well, you came home after 3 AM, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.?"

The husband asks, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT? Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch! I'm married!'"

Broken table--$200
Hot breakfast--$5
Red rose bud--$3
Two aspirins--$.25
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . PRICELESS!

joke week '07 | day 5

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers:simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose o f laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. So be brief with people.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.