"they're (not so) grrrreat"

Does 'Big Cereal's self-regulation mean anything?

According to published reports, cereal giant Kellogg is voluntarily phasing out advertising to kids under age 12 unless and until the foods meet certain nutrition guidelines. They have also agreed to stop licensing popular advertising characters connected to the affected products.

Is this a step in the right direction? Maybe, but it seems a little silly to me.

Anyone who’s read about the dangers of processed foods knows that breakfast foods like Pop Tarts and Froot Loops are not good for you, even as part of a “balanced breakfast.” And we all know that kids are gullible. I know I would try to stick everything in the supermarket cart I saw on Saturday morning cartoons (Remember those? Where have they gone?)

But…

Unlike with similar initiatives aimed at the tobacco and cigarette industry, the target market is not easily able to go buy (or have someone buy them) the product. Your five-year-old will beg and scream for Corn Pops, but it’s not like he can drive himself to Kroger and stock up.

Parents are buying this crap for their kids. Taking the commercials off cartoon broadcasts doesn’t mean anything if the parent goes and buys it for them anyway. And part of the reason that kids are so overweight and obese these days is because parents are enabling them with foods that are bad for them.

While it’s likely that some cereals and other products could be reformulated to be healthier, and hopefully they will be, by this intuitive, so much of what is going on is just window dressing.

Think about the kids menu at your favorite restaurant. Hot dogs, chicken nuggets, fries…none of this stuff is substantially healthier than a bowl of cereal (especially when studies have shown a link between increased levels of saturated fats in the body and the development of diabetes). But nobody (yet) has suggested that we take off the Oscar Meyer or Ore-Ida commercials.

Yes, I know it’s voluntary, but it’s a double standard, and in the media clip-entrenched world we live in, it makes something that (generally) does include some vitamins and minerals in its primary ingredients out to be the bad guy. Giving a kid another processed product in lieu of the suddenly evil cereal will not necessarily improve their health.

I guess my point is, what’s being done doesn’t hurt, but until an effort is done to make food healthier for all of us, especially kids, we’re really not doing anything special here by taking away Tony the Tiger.

Yeah! I want Cheesy (Tots)!

I'm not hip enough to publicly not like fast food, so I'll admit I eat a lot of it on my "dinner hour" between The City and Big Green. Usually Arby's, McDonald's or Long John Silvers (Long Green Slivers as Eddy calls it).

There's a Burger King on the way as well, and though I'm pretty much off The King after eating so much in college (they were open late), I pop in so every so often I won't suffer from McBurnout, Roast Beef Malaise, or whatever the hell eating too much LJS will do.

The latest trip was largely disappointing as usual, but I discovered a new menu item: something called Cheesy Tots.

This one-time experimental breakfast item apparently caught on at BK and has built up a following. Some people have raved about them, and others have urged its return when taken offf the menu temporarily

I love tater tots (almost went to Sonic to get some actually) and I like cheese sticks, so I figured these golden brown, saucer-shaped chicken nugget-looking bites might be worth a shot.

Not so fast.

Maybe I got a bad batch or something, but I thought they were awful. The mix of mozzarella and cheddar cheeses was decent enough, but the deep-fried coating was hard and starchy and the few potato bits found inside distracted too much from the cheese. The lack of a dipping sauce was a problem, as ketchup didn't work well at all with the other flavors, and there are only so many condiments that might work. Though I might suggest they find some to mask the overall taste :-)

Still, for the price, it wasn't a bad deal. Burger King isn't exactly known for their culinary prowess in the first place (see also: Chicken Fries), and if you're sick of french fries and onion rings, it does add another option to the palette.

Just don't offer me any. I'll pass.

Hole-Food Stores In Trans-Fat Trouble

By CARL CAMPANILE
The New York Post

NEW YORK - It's time to change the doughnuts!

Mayor Bloomberg's proposed ban on trans fat would deep-fry doughnut giants Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme - unless they eliminate the artery-clogging oils from their addictive donuts.

While much of the debate over the planned ban has focused on hamburger or chicken joints, a Post review of doughnut shops' ingredients show they could be severely affected.

America may "run on Dunkin'," as the ads say, but Dunkin's doughnuts run on trans fat. Virtually the entire menu of three dozen doughnuts, muffins and cakes contain between 1.5 grams and 5 grams of trans fat apiece.

And nearly all of Krispy Kreme's 29 varieties contain trans fat - led by its Apple Fritter, with a whopping 7 grams. Most contain 4 or 5 grams.

The city Health Department said that shops that have their goods delivered from company factories would have till July 2008 to replace their trans fat.

Dunkin' Donuts is the more severely affected company. It has more than 300 stores in the five boroughs, accounting for roughly $170 million in sales each year.

Krispy Kreme has only two retail stores - one in Penn Station and another on the Upper East Side - but its doughnuts are sold in other eateries.

Dunkin' Donuts hinted it would comply with any ban that goes into effect.

"In fall 2004, Dunkin' Donuts acted independently to remove trans fats from our muffins and many of the items available at Dunkin' Donuts stores," the company said.

Slabs Are Joining Scoops in Ice Cream Retailing

By KATE MURPHY

With Baskin-Robbins and Dairy Queen, not to mention thousands of independent scoop shops, there are plenty of places to satisfy a craving for ice cream. But three companies say there is still room for something different — their premium ice creams, served with a flourish.

The three are competing to be to ice cream what Starbucks is to coffee — a ubiquitous chain offering a high-priced, high-quality version of a relatively mundane product.

The companies, Marble Slab Creamery, Cold Stone Creamery and MaggieMoo’s International, sell various flavors of premium ice cream, which is defined by the industry as having more than 12 percent butterfat. Moreover, they allow customers to choose from an assortment of “mix-ins” like crumbled cookies, candies, fruits and nuts. Employees then blend the ingredients into the ice cream on a cold granite or marble slab before packing it into a cup or freshly baked waffle cone. The cost escalates with the number of mix-ins and can easily top $5 for a medium serving.

“These guys are all hoping to be the next Starbucks,” said Donna Barry, a dairy consultant who analyzes the ice cream industry for the market research company Packaged Facts in New York.

Part of the experience is waiting in line and watching employees prepare concoctions. “It’s entertainment,” Ms. Barry said. “I myself get intrigued by what other people order,” like peanut butter ice cream with bananas, marshmallows and brownie chunks.

But in an already crowded market, it remains unclear whether there is a sustainable niche for high-end ice cream, much less one that can support a store on every corner.

Following the Starbucks model, the three chains are densely situating their stores, particularly Cold Stone. Founded in 1988, with its headquarters in Scottsdale, Ariz., Cold Stone has 1,400 franchises in the United States, Japan and South Korea — most opened in the last five years. A former Procter & Gamble sales manager, Douglas A. Ducey, was named chief executive in 2000 to lead the expansion.

“I saw an opportunity to reinvent a stagnant category like what happened with coffee,” he said.

Marble Slab, based in Houston, and MaggieMoo’s of Columbia, Md., have also pursued rapid growth strategies in the last five years. Marble Slab, which opened its first store in 1983, now has 371 franchises in the United States, Canada and the United Arab Emirates, with another 220 under development. Started in 1989, MaggieMoo’s currently has 190 franchises in the United States with an additional 150 under development.

“These guys are definitely trying to saturate the market,” said Darren Tristano, managing director of Technomic, a food service research and consulting firm in Chicago. “It’s all a game of beating the other guy to the best locations.”

Americans spend about $21 billion a year on ice cream, according to the International Dairy Foods Association. That amounts to 1.6 billion gallons of ice cream, or 21.5 quarts a person a year. Almost two-thirds of that ice cream is eaten away from home.

“It’s not a small category,” said Harry Balzar, president of the NPD Group, a market research company in Port Washington, N.Y., but one that has remained flat for more than a decade and is “not likely to grow.”

To succeed, Cold Stone, Marble Slab and MaggieMoo’s need to take customers from the market leaders Dairy Queen and Baskin-Robbins and the more than 15,000 other independent and chain ice cream shops scattered across the country. This includes Ben & Jerry’s and Häagen-Dazs, which are steadily adding locations, though their focus is more on grocery store sales.

“The Cold Stones and the like have to take business from competitors or increase the frequency of customer visits,” Mr. Balzar said.

Demand was arguably high as several people waited in line on a recent weekday afternoon at a Marble Slab Creamery in Houston. “I was on my way home from jury duty and figured I’d use the $6 they paid me to buy an ice cream,” said Lee Beauchamp, a petroleum marketer, who was enjoying a double dip of dark chocolate coconut and birthday-cake-flavor ice cream.

But Howard Waxman, editor of The Ice Cream Reporter, an industry newsletter, questioned how much of an appetite there is for expensive customized ice cream. “People often have very personal or psychological associations with ice cream,” Mr. Waxman said. “They’ll try something new but they tend to go back to the kind of ice cream they grew up eating.”

That is the way it was for Tony Green, a management consultant in Chicago, who tried Cold Stone and Marble Slab once or twice because he said his two children “are all about mixing as much candy into their ice cream as possible.” Even so, the family favorite is still an independent, old-fashioned ice cream parlor called Margie’s Candies that they have gone to for years. “It’s a throw-back nostalgia kind of place,” Mr. Green said.

Such loyalties and perhaps market saturation might explain why sales at Cold Stone stores open for more than a year were down for the first time last year, by 6.6 percent, and are down 7 percent so far this year. Including revenue from newly opened stores, the company expects sales to reach $465 million this year, up 46 percent from last year. Mindful of the decline in sales at existing stores, Mr. Ducey said Cold Stone would slow its expansion. “We first wanted to secure premier locations and build awareness and now we are going to focus on the amount of product sold,” he said.

Marble Slab, which has pursued a more measured growth strategy, estimates this year’s sales will be $90 million, up from $75 million last year, with sales at stores open for more than a year increasing 3 percent.

“Our primary focus has always been on trying to offer the highest-quality product — we only open new stores when it makes sense,” said Ronald Hankamer, Marble Slab’s president and chief executive.

MaggieMoo’s projects $50 million in sales this year, up from $43 million last year. The company would not release sales at stores open for more than a year. It has dropped to 416 from 169 in 2004 on Entrepreneur Magazine’s ranking of the top 500 franchise opportunities. Cold Stone and Marble Slab have climbed in the 2006 rankings, to 24 and 297, respectively. MaggieMoo’s closed six underperforming stores in Bangkok this year and canceled plans for further overseas expansion.

Still, the three chains are hardly hurting for franchisees. Cold Stone, for example, received 25,000 applications last year.

“A lot of people want to get into the business because it sounds like fun,” said Mr. Waxman of The Ice Cream Reporter. And it is relatively inexpensive to buy in, with $200,000 to $450,000 in upfront costs and fees plus 6 percent royalties on sales. By contrast, purchasing a McDonald’s franchise requires a $506,000 to $1.6 million initial investment plus a minimum of 12.5 percent royalties on sales.

The majority of franchisees at Cold Stone, Marble Slab and MaggieMoo’s own more than one location and as many as 11. “It’s how you create economies of scale so you can increase your margins,” said Rudy Puig, who owns three Cold Stone stores in Miami, and plans to buy another next year.

But he said the real reason he was in the ice cream business is “my kids used to cry if we didn’t stop for ice cream.” Now that is not a problem.

Newest chef's surprise is the $40 entree

NEW YORK, Oct. 21 (UPI) -- The $40 entree becoming more common at U.S. restaurants and is being applied not just to surf-and-turf extravaganzas.

The New York Times noted Saturday that even fish and pasta dishes are topping the $40 barrier in places like Denver and Fort Lauderdale, not just in upscale eateries in Manhattan or Las Vegas.

Diners told The Times that seeing a $40 price on the menu makes them think the dish must be out-of-this-world tasty, or it is simply overpriced.

Nevertheless, restaurant owners say the higher prices reflect the cost of prime ingredients and the developing trend of customers spending more time on their meals, meaning they can turn their tables fewer times in an evening.

this is why luther had the stroke

Solidifying widespead beliefs about the poor eating habits of Southerners (and the arteries of its customers), Mulligan's Pub in Decatur, Georgia, currently features two of the most mind-boggling culinary disasters ever to come from a deep fryer.

The first is the "Hamdog," a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. If that wasn't enough, it's also topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.

The other is the "Luther Burger," a bacon cheeseburger served on a grilled Krispy Kreme doughnut bun. Rumor has it that the donut-cheeseburger concoction is one of R&B singer Luther Vandross' favorite comestibles, and some versions of the rumor even go so far as to suggest that the singer actually invented the dish (on a day when he ran out of hamburger buns). Vandross' unfortunate recent stroke makes me wonder, if he did eat the burgers, if that contributed to his condition.

Combined with ongoing studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the leader of the nation's anti-obesity campaign, the fare at Mulligan's paints a bad picture of Southern cuisine. CDC noted a large concentration of counties with high stroke death rates in North and South Carolina and Georgia. More than three decades later, the high stroke rates in that region seem to have shifted west to counties along the Mississippi River Delta.

While both dishes sound delicious in a perverse way, it goes to show that we're not eating any better as a region and we're suffering for it. Combining Southern cooking styles with the increasing presence of institutional food processing is literally killing us.

It's nearly impossible to change the highly regimented food industry, but we as Southerners need to combine our culinary traditions with more responsible behavior. Both of these creations need to be thrown into the compost bin, and we need to eat more grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, and exercise more. Smaller portions wouldn't hurt either.

man, woman, God and Satan

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

you can't beat krispy kreme

An old-school Krispy Kreme Doughnuts sign in High Point, North Carolina (source: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~aleskiw/roadgeek/images/Gallery7/03.jpg)

In the world of fast food, few things are more satisfying than a hot-off-the-conveyor belt Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut. Whatever the season, but especially during the colder months, the soft, delectable treats simply melt in your mouth and personify snack perfection. You can get Krispy Kreme doughnuts almost anywhere now, and they’ve created enough varieties for you to try a new one every day for a month or two, but the original flavor from an authentic shop, for me, is the only way to go.

My local Krispy Kreme shop, located along Melrose Avenue in Roanoke across from Roanoke-Salem Plaza, epitomizes the ideal way to experience these delights. Built somewhere around 1962, it’s a bright spot in an otherwise derelict neighborhood, almost totally unchanged architecturally from its opening day. This store is one of a handful of Krispy Kreme production facilities: it supplies nearly every other place that sells Krispy Kreme products in Southwest and Central Virginia. The only changes occurred in the late ‘60s when the manufacturing portion of the building grew to accommodate regional production demands and in the late ‘90s, when interior changes like giant neon “Hot Doughnuts Now” made the dining area even more retro than it was originally.

With the instantaneous rise and fall in popularity of Krispy Kreme products over the past five years, most of the Winston-Salem, North Carolina–based company’s older stores have been relocated or extensively remodeled to the point that the green-roofed, red-tiled little shop with its huge old-school sign and tiny parking lot has become a unique piece of roadside architectural history. The neighborhood around the Roanoke shop has seen better days and will eventually claim this place, as I’ve heard rumors it plans to move to the Tanglewood Mall area if a new mall gets off the ground, but for me perfection lies in this place, on a red stool, with a cup of coffee and two or three (okay, five or six) hot, fresh glazed doughnuts.

101 random things about, and by, me

1. ‘Sesame Street’ rocks.
2. My favorite cookies are Oreos.
3. Most people say they like all kinds of music. I really do.
4. My friends are some of the best people I know.
5. I love New York.
6. My favorite beers are Guinness and Yuengling.
7. I love Martha Stewart.
8. My brother gets on my nerves but he means well.
9. I can cook some things really well.
10. I don’t drive.
11. Most people don’t understand me at first, but tend to get me after a while.
12. I can’t swim.
13. I am in love with the concept of elegance, though I’m a little clunky most times.
14. My bass and I need more quality time.
15. I have a mean streak.
16. Girls always say I’m sweet.
17. I love fried chicken.
18. I am in love with Sarah Silverman. And Janeane Garafalo.
19. I kind of look like Adam Sandler.
20. I could probably sing if I tried.
21. I have more shoes than most guys.
22. I get bored easy.
23. I can’t dance, but I like trying.
24. I love fireworks.
25. Popcorn with butter is good.
26. I am proud of my nerdiness.
27. I find Lawrence Welk entertaining.
28. I have flat feet.
29. I could spend all day in Barnes & Noble.
30. Small talk is murder for me.
31. I love department stores, especially really big ones.
32. I like Krispy Kreme and Dunkin’ Donuts.
33. I have no desire to go to Florida or California.
34. I love being an architect.
35. I like pancakes; just plain pancakes, margarine and syrup, nothing added.
36. I like to write.
37. I like to tell stories, but I’m increasingly bad at it.
38. I like the mountains of West Virginia.
39. I love Christmas.
40. My friend Eddy Hicklin is the funniest guy I know.
41. I have a special place in my heart for Tanglewood Mall.
42. I give out too much advice.
43. I dream in color primarily.
44. I have a really good sense of direction.
45. I hardly ever go to the movies.
46. I’ve got a lot of books.
47. I’ve only been truly in love once.
48. I like fur coats on women.
49. Smart women turn me on.
50. I like ice cream so much that I’ll eat it in the dead of winter
51. There’s a part of me that still lives in 1979.
52. I have a hard time expressing myself.
53. Sometimes I read tabloids in the supermarket check-out line.
54. I have a Sears card and I like to use it to buy tools.
55. There’s a method to my madness.
56. Sometimes I think I’m destined for greatness.
57. I love Godiva and Neuhaus chocolates, but I’ll settle for Hershey’s anytime.
58. The other only two places I would like to live are New York City and southern Wisconsin.
59. Wal-Mart is fun, but Target is cooler.
60. There’s a part of me that wants to believe that Michael Jackson is innocent.
61. I need to lose a few pounds.
62. I’m a clotheshorse.
63. I am a liberal, but I have a conservative side.
64. I’m a little cheap, but I call it being thrifty.
65. I miss Woolworth.
66. No eggs, unless you mix them with something appealing.
67. I’d rather see a Christian than hear about one.
68. My mom is my favorite person.
69. I love to shop, but I think I’m more in love with retail itself.
70. I’m shy.
71. I’m not crazy about music with lyrics.
72. I’ve been a Steelers fan since I was 3.
73. I would love to meet Walter Becker and Donald Fagan.
74. I write myself notes all the time.
75. I’m a Virgo.
76. I’m a Pentecostal and I have felt the Holy Ghost at least once.
77. Chandeliers are cool.
78. I’m more like my dad sometimes than I’d like to admit.
79. I’m a little uncoordinated.
80. I’m too self-absorbed.
81. I’m not a poetry fan.
82. I wonder if there’s life on other planets.
83. I still get carded in bars.
84. I’ve become an Orioles fan as of late.
85. I never grew out of that awkward teenage stage.
86. Costco rules.
87. I’ve started writing several books.
88. I think Conan O’Brien is brilliant.
89. If I were a Peanuts character, I would be Linus.
90. I was obsessed with Barry White at one point during my teenage years.
91. I shot a pig once.
92. I sometimes use too many big words.
93. ‘The Great Brain Goes to the Academy’ is a book that stuck with me.
94. If I was an entertainer, I’d probably sing country music.
95. I’m hipper than I seem.
96. Good TV is always the stuff that gets cancelled.
97. I used to do a Ronald Isley impersonation that cracked people up.
98. I read too much.
99. I watch a lot less TV than I used to.
100. I was the credit card king in the mid ‘90s.
101. Thanks for reading this list.