Robert Henry (Chilly) Childress: 1941-2009

I can't say enough good things about my friend. Chilly was a very special person and I'm going to miss him dearly.

When we worked together at LMW, he was always willing to listen and offer advice and he told some of the funniest and most memorable stories I've ever heard. Even after I left the company and his hours got cut, he would look me up wherever I was and even had a bus driver stop a Valley Metro bus just so he could say hi to me when I was walking down the street! No one would have done that but Chilly; he was that kind of person.

Robert Henry (Chilly) Childress, of Roanoke, Va., the oldest of 12 children was born on October 10, 1941, to the late Isaac H. Childress and Julia M. Millner Childress in Roanoke, Va. After a brief illness he departed this life on Friday, March 13, 2009, at Salem VA Medical Center in Salem, Va. Robert was educated in the Roanoke School District and upon graduation from Lucy Addison High, left to serve for seven years in the United States Army. While stationed in Valley Forge, Pa., he met and married Shirley Coleman on July 31, 1965 and resided in Norristown, Pa. From this union were two children, Denise Michelle and Robert. Chilly worked for many years and was said to have been one of the best bartenders in the North. He had many skills and the last was with LMW Engineering Architecture Surveying Corporation, who stated "he was very diligent in his employment and a philosopher." Robert will be remembered by his son, Robert H. Childress Jr. (Valarie); siblings, Calvin E. Childress, Martha A. Childress, Harry T. (aka Joe) Childress, Roszella Cunningham, Lynwood Perry Childress, Wayne M. Childress (Yolanda), of Roanoke, the Reverend Helen M.C. Jones (John), Theresa L. White, of Norristown, Pa., Julia M. Childress, of Tampa, Fla., Teresa C. McClendon (Rev. Michael) and Timothy E. Childress, of Palm Beach, Fla.; three grandchildren, Troy Childress, Tyler Childress and Tamra Childress, of Norristown, Pa.; two aunts, Martha G. Williams (Bill), of Washington, D.C., and Della Millner, of Roanoke, Va.; a host of relatives, nieces, nephews, cousins and friends; and family friends, Melvin Saunders, James Bryant, Steve Stewart, Nilda Sierra, and Patricia Cooper. He was preceded in death by his parents, Isaac H. (March 1980) and Julia M. Childress (November 1997); daughter, Denise Michelle Childress (August 13, 1999); and brother, Isaac N. Childress (July 1965). Memorial services will be held 4 p.m. on Saturday, March 21, 2009, at Trinity Community Baptist Church, 1814 Carroll Ave., Roanoke. Arrangements by Lotz Funeral Home, Roanoke, Va.

She keeps the work on schedule

Note from Steve: This is another of my oldest and dearest friends. She was recently one of the subjects of a newspaper article on men and women who fill nontraditional roles in their places of work.

Erinn Hutkin
The Roanoke Times

ANGIE BAUGHMAN - CONSTRUCTION PROJECT MANAGER

The atmosphere often changes when she steps onto a job site.

Suddenly, hard-hat-wearing construction workers apologize when they curse. They also don't chew. Or spit.

At 33, Angie Baughman is the only female project manager for Roanoke's Lionberger Construction. In May, she earned her master's degree in construction management from Virginia Tech after a short career as an architect.

Her job means overseeing several projects at once -- right now, it's the renovation of a Blacksburg church and building new retail space at Valley View Mall.

While an on-site supervisor runs daily operations at a job site, it's up to Baughman to handle the budget and the bills, correspond with architects, line up subcontractors and compile estimates.

Essentially, she's charged with keeping the guys working, keeping the job on schedule and making money.

"It ultimately rests on my shoulders to make sure it happens," she said.

After working in architecture for five years, Baughman decided she didn't like spending her days in front of a computer. Architects she worked for in Roanoke encouraged her to return to school for a master's in construction, leading her to attend classes while working full time.

She quit her job in December 2006, planning to focus on school. A week later, she received an e-mail about a part-time job at Lionberger from her department head at Tech. Starting work part-time, she thinks, eased her transition as a woman. And in construction, she found everything she felt her former career lacked.

"I get to go to the job. I get to talk to the guys. I get to see the project happen," she explained. "I like being able to keep busy on the job."

Even in school, Baughman knew she was outnumbered. She estimates 75 percent of students in her master's program were men. Even when there were speakers from construction companies, seeing a woman was rare.

Yet when she decided to switch careers, no one was less surprised than Baughman's mom. She knows her daughter is a self-proclaimed tomboy who hates shopping, except for a weakness for shoes. Baughman loves sports -- helping coach high school soccer and playing pick-up basketball. With her dad, she is making improvements on her Roanoke house.

On the job, Baughman tries to balance being confident with taking the guys' advice. If a man with 20 years' experience tells her a certain fastener will work, she'll likely listen.

On the other hand, she believes some guys at a site will ask her questions just to see if she knows the answer.

"You're a little bit discriminated against at first until people know you," she said.

A few weeks ago, for instance, Baughman was picking up a tape measure at Lowe's. A couple of guys saw her shopping and tried telling her, "Honey, you need this one."

Baughman just let them talk.

There's time enough for them to figure out she's the boss.

The Flip-Flops in the Next Cubicle

By MATT VILLANO

Q. A colleague comes to work wearing flip-flops, ripped jeans and a tight tank top, and it bothers you. What can you do about it?

A. Speak your mind. Joyce Gioia, president of the Herman Group, a management consulting firm in Greensboro, N.C., says that if a colleague’s clothing choices distract you from your work, it’s important to air your concerns. “You’re at work to do a job,” she said. “If the person’s attire is affecting your productivity, you have to tell him or her how you feel.”

Q. What is appropriate attire for an office environment?

A. That depends on your office and whether you routinely come into contact with customers or clients. If you work in banking, finance or law, you may be expected to wear traditional business attire, like suits, slacks, knee-length skirts and collared blouses or shirts. In other industries, like advertising and Web design, it may be acceptable to wear blue jeans and T-shirts.

Even on a day designated as casual, sweatpants, shorts, tank tops, baseball caps and athletic shoes may not be acceptable. Kacy Douglas, marketing manager at Positive Networks, a technology company in Overland Park, Kan., said that employees should avoid clothing that is particularly tight or revealing, or more appropriate for a night out than a day at work.

Q. Why do some employees dress in ways that others find offensive?

A. Of course, tastes differ. But sometimes, dressing in a fashion that is obviously inappropriate can be a hostile act, said Sandy Dumont, executive director of Impression Strategies Institute, a consulting firm in Norfolk, Va. “It’s an insult, really,” Ms. Dumont said. “Dressing inappropriately says, ‘My comfort is more important than impressing you,’ and people pick up that message loud and clear.”

Comila Shahani-Denning, a professor of organizational psychology at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., said sartorial miscues were shortsighted. Some employees wear certain outfits solely to be noticed, failing to understand that it’s better to stand out for one’s work than for one’s wardrobe, Ms. Shahani-Denning said.

“In any workplace, you want people to focus on what you’re accomplishing, not what you wear,” she said. “Attire is always an accessory; it should never be a distraction from your skills.”

Q. How should you discuss this issue with your colleague?

A. If you have a good relationship, talk face-to-face, privately. Offer suggestions instead of criticisms and be sincere.

Many people will appreciate your honesty, but some colleagues may be offended. Robin Walker, president of My Wardrobe Companion, an image consulting firm in Chicago, said that because individual style was involved, the discussion could quickly escalate into an argument. “Attire is such a personal thing that some people bristle instantly at the suggestion that their dress is inappropriate,” she said.

Q. Is it wise to involve your boss?

A. Sometimes it can be. Mercedes Alfaro, president of First Impression Management, a consulting firm in Atlanta, said that it might be advisable for a male employee who is uncomfortable with the way a female colleague dresses to talk to his boss, to avoid any perception of sexual harassment.

Employees should approach such a conversation carefully. Outline exactly what it is about the colleague’s attire that makes you uncomfortable. You may want to request a class to raise awareness about workplace attire over all.

“Make it clear the person is offending you and perhaps may be offending other people, too,” Ms. Alfaro said. “At the same time, couch your concerns in a way that makes it clear this isn’t personal, that it’s something everyone should be aware of.”

Q. Are employers permitted to manage what workers wear?

A. Debra Weiss Ford, a partner at Devine, Millimet & Branch, a law firm in Manchester, N.H., noted that any company could adopt a policy on office attire, provided that the rules were applied consistently and did not discriminate on the basis of sex, religion or ethnicity. “Ultimately it’s the employer’s discretion to lay out for people what is and is not acceptable to wear,” she said, adding that these policies “can be specific or general as an employer sees fit.”

At the Chamber of Commerce in Beachwood, Ohio, for instance, the employee handbook provides specific lists of appropriate and inappropriate attire. Khaki pants, sweaters and loafers all are acceptable; flip-flops, Spandex and camisoles are not. Tom Sudow, the chamber’s executive director, said employees were also encouraged to wear polo shirts bearing the chamber’s seal.

“We like logo shirts because they’re like a uniform, but they still give people the opportunity to be creative,” said Mr. Sudow, who prefers to wear a suit. “The whole idea is to look professional, like part of a team.”

Q. Can someone be fired for violating a dress code?

A. First-time offenders of a company’s dress policy probably won’t lose their jobs. After two or three warnings, however, failure to dress appropriately could put a job in jeopardy. Karen Loebbaka, recruiting partner at Bay Partners, a venture capital firm in Cupertino, Calif., said the easiest ways to avoid this problem were to learn from your mistakes and to always look sharp.

“It all goes back to the notion of dressing for success,” she said. “Once you’re in the right outfit, the rest is up to you.”

stuff...and other stuff

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you guys in Steve-land. It seems like I’m always headed somewhere these days. Today, I didn’t head anywhere and it felt weird. I guess it helped me catch up on my rest.

I'm apparently a masochist. I'm going to try to work at the City and Big Green this tax season. I only committed to three days a week at Big Green during the non-peak season, with more when people are actually coming in. That might help me get a bonus this time.

The important thing is getting this god-awful tax class out of the way. The instructor didn't show up the other week, and he tried to cram 5 chapters worth of work into a two chapter space. It didn't work. I learned nothing and I was bored to the point of sleeping between his words. We get a different instructor next week and I'm hoping she'll be better.

The Planning department is a bizarre place. Every day I have some kind of weird situation going on. Some stuff I’d have to see you in person to do justice to because it’s too bizarre for words. One thing that makes things more nuts for me is that we’re at the front line of whoever comes in. And boy do they come in!

One thing I did do that I normally wouldn’t have is that I became a Notary Public. I need it for my job when people come in with affidavits. I’ve done one paper so far, and I’m sure there will be more very soon.

Well, not much else to report, so I’ll close. Talk real soon.

What I Like About Dracula

By DAVID COLMAN

IT’S easy — too easy — for a working man to look good today, thanks to a sea of slim-cut suits, snappy dress shirts and an Equinox in every upscale Zip code. How’s a guy to keep his edge?

Well, if having smarter ideas, logging longer hours or being a bigger mensch than the next guy does not do the trick, there is the Wall Street mohawk. This latest bit of stockbroker savagery is a modified take on the already modified original: a crew cut around the sides and back with a mop of hair at the crown.

“I noticed it a few years ago in London,” said the New York hairstylist John Barrett. “The stockbroker types down in the City were getting their hair cut this way. It took a while to cross the Atlantic, but there are definitely guys now with conservative jobs who want an edgier look, and they come in every three or four weeks to get it.”

The do may not yet have a zingy name — the CEO-hawk? — and may seem a rather tepid version of the shellacked spikes of yore or even the “faux-hawk” that has been a hipster fave of late. But its low-key style is part of a mystique that some corporate raiders love.

“That’s the thing, “ Mr. Barrett said. “It can look very Brooks Brothers by day. They say, ‘I don’t quite want a mohawk, but I want to be able to make it look like that at night.’ ”

The same can be said for a subtly aggressive trend in men’s clothes, one that lets a man express his latent Goth-rocker self while still playing by at least some of the company rules. The NoLIta men’s wear company Barker Black made its name with corp-Goth accessories like wingtips with uppers faintly perforated with a skull pattern; this season, with skulls everywhere, it introduced rep ties with a more understated design: diagonal stripes of crossbones.

Around the corner, the men’s shop Duncan Quinn sells suits and shirts with red linings and cuffs — for just a hint of blood — as well as silk ties bearing dragons, crowns and Maltese crosses. The look is meant to suggest both the gentility and ferocity of the business world.

“Whether it’s a tie with a dragon or a cross, it relates to the old idea of putting on 50 pounds of armor and hacking away at each other,” Mr. Quinn said. “In the business world, everything is a competition, so I like having an underlying connection. It’s not just a piece of eye candy.”

Jewelry designers, too, are offering dryly barbed pieces for men — silver talon rings, bleeding-heart cuff links, carnelian signet rings — with just a hint of menace.

No one owns the look this season as does Alexander McQueen. His vampire-fantasy runway show might not have screamed suit and tie, but it concealed an array of beautifully tailored suits and shirts that are now in stores. Finally, those Damons, Damiens, Gideons and Gabriels born in the late 1970’s (“The Omen” came out in 1976) have something to wear to day jobs on the Street. Why style yourself as a Master of the Universe when the Dark Prince has the better wardrobe?

Mr. McQueen said he wanted to tap into a decadent 1920’s British-peer lifestyle, one with accouterments like velvet evening jackets, a valet (one named, say, Renfield) and a little packet of Sen-Sen to get the whiff of blood off your breath. “It’s more about the richness and aristocracy of Dracula,” he said. “And about a sense of history, like finding an old jacket in the attic and being able to carry it off.”

And in a way, it is about restoring dignity to the word “Goth,” which he all but sneered at. “Goth to me means Camden Market and teenagers in L.A. buying stuff on the Internet,” he said. “I prefer the word ‘dark.’ There’s a richness, a romanticism there.”

Whether they indulge in the haircut or the clothes, men are quick to downplay the idea that they flaunt any kind of edge at work.

“Eyeliner’s not my thing,” said Chris Sharp, who works on the trading floor for a Wall Street firm and was seduced away from Dunhill suits to McQueen, he said, because of the tailoring, not the skull-print ties. “I have one of the ties — my wife gave it to me. It’s fun for an evening out, but not for a client meeting.”

“For me, edgy is a single-breasted suit with a peak lapel,” he added. “I’m getting fitted for one on Saturday.”

Be warned, mortals. That’s how it all started with Count Dracula. With a peak lapel.

still she rises

Would you call Dr. Maya Angelou "dog faced" and ugly in a room full of black people? L did.

Remember L? She's our resident carnival-barker at work and she's certainly entitled to her opinion, but just as my conversation with Muddy about Steve Irwin proves, perspective makes major difference in how things are viewed.

I found L's comments, especially numerous cracks she made about Ms. Angelou's poems being 'horrible,' highly inappropriate, but I was only half as offended as my other co-worker, V, who is a massive poetry and spoken word fan.

I felt it was appropriate to post a picture of Ms. Angelou and one of her best known poems as proof that she's no hack, nor is she a hag.

Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.