10 Scariest Stars in HDTV!

Note from Steve: Yes, this is plenty mean-spirited, but it's funny as hell!

Phillip Swann, president of TVPredictions.com, has generated international attention for his list of the 10 celebrities who look better or worse in crystal-clear High-Definition TV. The list has been featured in such publications as The Chicago Tribune, The National Enquirer, The New York Post and TV shows such as Inside Edition and The Fox Report With Shepard Smith.

But now -- just in time for Halloween -- Swanni is publishing a new list that's guaranteed to once again catch the attention of the entertainment world, particularly in Hollywood: The list consists of actors, actresses and TV personalities who are the victims of horrific acne problems, aging signs and/or terrible plastic surgery. Their faces are so abnormal and weird-looking that it's difficult to look at them in ultra-realistic HD. It's not just that they look worse in high-def, they are the...

10 Scariest Stars in HDTV!

1. Burt Reynolds
After numerous 'apparent' plastic surgeries, Burt's face looks like it's been Scotch taped back in place. His skin texture seems different in every area, as if the Nip 'n Tuck boys couldn't keep track of what they did last. And those toupees don't help, either. You get the feeling that it takes the Boogie Nights star half the day just to get his head together, and we don't mean psychologically.

2. Tommy Lee Jones
The veteran actor chased prison escapee Harrison Ford in The Fugitive. But speaking of break outs, his face must have broken out more often than a hundred fugitives when he was kid. His cheeks are covered with blackheads and pockmarks. In the recent high-def showing of The Hunted on Showtime, the one-time co-star of Coal Miner's Daughter looks like he's been in a coal mine for the last year. And it's hard to believe that he's only 58; you could put $50 worth of groceries in the bags under his eyes.

3. Mary Tyler Moore (left)
The veteran actress now looks like The Joker in Batman. If she pulled her face back any further, it would be behind her. Oh, Rob!

4. Cher
Did she get Botox? Well, let's put it this way. Her face looks more frozen than a Hollywood agent's heart. In fact, seeing her in high-def at a recent awards show gave us the chills. Her face reminds you of a Buckingham Palace guard. You could stand in front of her and scream and not a single part of that thing would move.

5. Keith Richards
Everyone knows that the Rolling Stones guitarist has not taken care of himself, but you should see him in HDTV. No, let's rephrase that. You don't want to see him in HDTV. During the recent Tribute to Gram Parsons concert broadcast by INHD, the high-def network, Richards' face looked like it had been worked over with a meat cleaver. His cheeks have ridges within ridges; the effect makes him look like a Shar Pei.

6. Joan Rivers
Another likely Botox addict. The red carpet host looks like she's injected more needles than Jose Canseco.

7. Edward James Olmos
The star of PBS's American Family (broadcast in high-def) has terrible acne stars, particularly on his cheeks. He wears a moustache, but if anyone should grow a full beard, it's this guy.

8. Faye Dunaway
The Chinatown star has that "always happy to see you" look. Her face has been pulled back, leaving her eyes wide-eyed and somewhat buggy.

9. Steven Tyler
Dude Looks Like a Lady! During CBS' high-def broadcast of the 2005 Grammys, Aerosmith's lead singer seemed more like a woman than a man. It wasn't the hair; it was the face. Tyler looked like he had some of his facial skin scraped off to give him a younger and more feminine look. Some people start to look like their father when they get older; Tyler is starting to look more like his daughter, Liv Tyler.

10. Peter Jackson
The Oscar-winning director may be the Lord of the Rings, but he's not the lord of the razor. At the 2004 Oscars, Jackson's beard looked like Middle Earth itself.