flippin' sweet radio spots

Desert Morning News, UT

The 150th Utah State Fair radio advertisements, featuring Napoleon Dynamite and his best friend Pedro, have generated national media attention. Here are transcripts from all five radio spots, available at utahstatefair.com.

Radio spot 1:
Napoleon Dynamite: This is Napoleon Dynamite speaking and his best friend Pedro.
Pedro: Hello everyone.
Napoleon Dynamite: Do you like fun? If yes, then visit the Utah State Fair for tons of spellbinding events. Like rodeos, demolition derbies, ultimate fighting...
Pedro: Are there ninjas?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! Ninjas are all around us, practicing their deadly art of invisibility. Why else do you think I constructed this killer pair of nunchucks?
Pedro: Those are corndogs on some string.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, but the dang ninjas don't know that.
*music*
Pedro: Hey Napoleon, are there ninjas even in the rest room?
Napoleon Dynamite: Why, do you have to go?
Pedro: I can hold it.
Napoleon Dynamite: All your wildest dreams will come true at the Utah State Fair.
Pedro: Visit utahstatefair.com. Thank you.

Radio spot 2:
Napoleon Dynamite: Hi, you probably know me as Napoleon Dynamite and his best friend Pedro.
Pedro: Hello.
Napoleon Dynamite: At the Utah State Fair, you can witness pretty much the most amazing skills of the land. Like flower arranging skills, painting skills, quilting skills, cake baking skills...
Pedro: You can not eat the cakes.
Napoleon Dynamite: Huh?
Pedro: The cakes, they are not for eating.
Napoleon Dynamite: Did you eat one or something?
Pedro: Yes. A little bit.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang.
*music*
Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro, those cakes are like a thousand days old.
Pedro: I feel pretty sweaty.
Napoleon Dynamite: At the Utah State Fair, all your wildest dreams will come true.
Pedro: Visit utahstatefair.com. I'm gonna' go home and lay down.
Napoleon Dynamite: K, see ya.

Radio spot 3:
Napoleon Dynamite: This is Napoleon Dynamite and his best friend Pedro.
Pedro: Hello everybody.
Napoleon Dynamite: Are you tired of state fairs that are the boringest in the history of time?
Pedro: Yes.
Napoleon Dynamite: Then come to the Utah State Fair. For one thing, it's the 150th Utah State Fair, which means it's been around since the age of the mighty thunder lizards.
Pedro: Sesquicentennial.
Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you even talking about?
Pedro: That means a hundred and fifty years.
Napoleon Dynamite: Serious?
Pedro: Yes.
Napoleon Dynamite: That's pretty much the longest word I've ever heard spoken by a person.
*music*
Napoleon Dynamite: This is the sequntense... sescense.... ah, idiot!
Pedro: The Utah State Fair, all your wildest dreams will come true.
Napoleon Dynamite: Visit utahstatefair.com.

Radio spot 4:
Napoleon Dynamite: Dear diary: Today me and my legendary classic rock band set the night on fire with our killer guitar moves. To bad I can't go on tour with them, 'cuz of my job as a vampire hunter.
Pedro: Hey Napoleon, who are you talking too?
Napoleon Dynamite: Nobody, just start the commercial!
Pedro: OK. Come to the Utah State Fair for plenty of live entertainment.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dear diary: Pedro's trying to steal my thunder again.
Pedro: Now who are you talking to?
Napoleon Dynamite: Ahhhh!
*music*
Napoleon Dynamite: Dear diary: Pedro's trying to ruin my life!
Pedro: Hello diary. This is Pedro.
Napoleon Dynamite: Leave me alone. Gosh! All your wildest dreams will come true at the Utah State Fair.
Pedro: Visit utahstatefair.com.

Radio spot 5:
Pedro: (singing) Utah fair, Utah fair. The corndogs are beyond compare. The cows are sweet, the goats are mean, burritos filled with cheese and beans. The pigs say oink, the chickens cluck, the tilt-o-world, comes on a truck. The bull goes moo, the duck goes quack, Napoleon has got my back. I like to eat, the cakes and pies, my shoe just stepped in a surprise. (humming)
Napoleon Dynamite: Hey Pedro, what are you doing?
Pedro: Just thinking about the Utah State Fair.
Napoleon Dynamite: Can I try?
Pedro: I guess so.
Napoleon Dynamite: K. The Utah State Fair is really sweet. The cows will soon turn into meat.
Pedro: That's really good.
Napoleon Dynamite: It's probably the best poem I ever did.
Pedro: Probably. (singing) My name is Pedro and I'm here to say, that I am down with the FFA.
Napoleon Dynamite: Say and Napoleon too.
Pedro: And Napoleon is too.
Napoleon Dynamite: Sweet!
Pedro: The Utah State Fair. All of your wildest dreams will come true.