Here we go, in no particular order:
- FEMA. How can anyone sit on TV and justify the wholesale abandonment of an entire region of the country after a disaster for five fucking days?
- People who deny the Katrina policies were influenced by race. Okay, so if the fact that those people were poor and black and typically vote Democrat had nothing to do with letting them rot and die for a week, then what was it? A scientific experiment? A happy accident? Did Grandma call and the Feds forgot all about the disaster in the other room? I'll bet if they found oil in downtown New Orleans, someone would be there in a flash!
- W. Nothing makes a country sleep better than knowing that Trent Lott's vacation home will be rebuilt good as new. Thanks buddy! And what about the sudden promotion of John "shit-eating grin" Roberts to the Chief Justice position for nomination? And setting a one-month deadline for confirmation? Hey George, your "political capital" card is over its limit! You are not King of America, even though Congressional Democrats will probably still bend over and take it and thank you for it like they always do.
- Professional victims. If God lets you live to see another day, and you've got a roof over your head, clean clothes to wear, and people who love you, you're doing fine. Stop bitching so damn much.
- Wal-Mart haters. We get it: they suck. So stop spending your money there.
- Cell-phone companies. Why are the only places you can get a good signal the same places that already have reliable land-line service? Nothing more fun than having car trouble and towers being so sparse that you have to redial the tow-truck a half-dozen times.
- Zara, Mexx, and H&M. The clothes are pretty and they're cheap, but if you're bigger than a size 8 for ladies or large in men's, they don't fit that well. European sizes work in EUROPE, guys! If you're gonna keep selling shrunken clothes to Americans, you won't succeed outside the urban coastal areas without giving away free gym memberships.
- Unrequited love. They don't want you! Move on! Nobody gives a damn how much you mean well. They simply don't want you!
- Network TV. Even getting it for free seems like a waste these days. Do network executives believe that all people who can't afford cable want to see are reality shows and bad sitcoms? Oh, and 15 zillion verisons of "CSI" and "Law and Order?" Please!
- And finally, the DMV. Does making me haul in a folder of nonsensical, unrelated identification material really make the world safer from terrorism? How about telling me I need all of this shit only after I wait in line for an hour when I should be at work? All I need a damn ID for is to drink and to get onto planes. It shouldn't be that much trouble for an lifelong American with no criminal record or connections to terrorist groups to get a shitty little state ID.
Okay, end of rant.
