costco has everything!

netscape.com

Proof positive that you can find anything under the sun at Costco: The warehouse retailer is now selling custom coffins.

We're not kidding! Check out the caskets at Costco.com.

Costco coffins can be purchased online and at selected stores at wholesale prices that range from $924.99 to $2,999.99 (shipping is included). It's a little more complicated than buying a coffee pot, but Costco helpfully explains the rules. For example, you have to notify the funeral home within one business day of placing your order, and the return policy is strict. You can only send it back if the coffin is damaged; don't even think about returning it used.

And for those of you who like to think ahead, you can pre-plan and pre-order in advance. Just make sure you have room in the basement to store the thing. Questions? Costco has a toll-free customer service number you can call 24/7 and talk to a licensed funeral director from the Universal Casket Co. While funeral homes must accept a Costco casket--the Federal Trade Commission requires this--caskets can only be purchased from and shipped to 25 states and the District of Columbia. You're out of luck if you live in the other half of the country.

"Costco's attempted end-run around the psychological walls and religious anxiety most of us have around death is simple, reductive and awfully persuasive," writes columnist Erin Aubry Kaplan in the Los Angeles Times. "Such naked truth in marketing would serve us well in other areas where taboos and emotion cloud our judgment and cost us money, like electoral politics."